Kalenjin Guys, This Is For You ...




'Wertab' brown leather jacket, how are you doing? 1st we need to talk about that jacket. I saw Kiprono with it, a week later everybody in Eltret had it! Where do you get them? 'Kokoek tretmark pwana' they now call it Kalenjin Starter Pack. 

Myself being one of you I find myself between a rock and a hard place to write this. Some things however have to be corrected. Take for example the other day the same Kiprono turned up at Club 411 in jeans gladly tucked inside black shiny gumboots. You cannot predict Eldoret weather and it can rain anytime but honestly guys 'chobo iman,' gumboots in a club?  

Here is something else called romance. 'Romandik' for our case. Yeah ladies are complicated people but they are people who love being showered with affection and attention. Guys there are nothing wrong holding your bae’s hand or waist.  Show the world this thing is yours, 'neng’ung moita pwana.' Then there is this thing of staying with somebody’s daughter until she naturally becomes your wife, that thing should end. Propose, make it a big deal and for once kneel before her and mumble something that will sound like “Cheptoo will you marry me?” she will get what you are trying to say. I know how hard that is but I know we can do it and trust me it will go along way keeping your Cheptoo happy. 
During your wedding don’t be afraid to kiss her, she is yours for heaven sake! I have attended weddings where the kissing part is a nightmare for the dude leaving him foolishly smiling like a teenage girl. If you have never kissed her, practice before the wedding day inside your house. Don't just come and open your mouth in front of your inlaws, 'utachoma picha.'

This is how you do it, hold that mamaa on the waist and blow a 3-minute kiss until people look away. That’s how a real ninja does it.
 
Uumh remember to close your eyes.Am done, proudly wertab mouth.                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

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